Most of us think about the joys, trials, and troubles that come along with marriage before ever tying the knot. However, your relationship with your in-laws is something you might fail to ponder until after the wedding.
Mothers-in-laws often have very high expectations for the women marrying into the family, and they've likely thought about the kinds of people these women should be: the values they'd have, and the way their lives would look — ever since their own children were young. All of that expectation can be really difficult to live up to.
Personally, I think that relationships with your in-laws can be a little tricky. And, there's no doubt that the dynamic varies greatly from family to family. Some accept new spouses into their circle with open arms, while others view significant others as a threat — someone who's there to steal their beloved son or daughter away.
If you're one of those people who gets along swimmingly with your in-laws, count your lucky stars. There are plenty of people out there who have more tense and strained relationships with their significant others' families, which undoubtedly causes a few issues around the family.
And If you one of those who suspect that your mother-in-law may not be your biggest fan, regardless of what your partner insists, you might not be creating the scenario entirely in your head. Want to know for sure? There are some clear signs that she really doesn't like you all that much.
She is always right: Yah.. without any exception. Which means that she's never wrong. She'll never admit being wrong, and she will never apologize for anything. In her eyes, you (and possibly your spouse) are the only person to blame.
She ignores you & keeps you distant: Ah, the silent treatment… there's no doubt that it's effective at getting the message across. She will ignore you for the most part, conveying that you don't matter to her .If your mother-in-law isn't your biggest fan, she'll brush you off and ignore you, she won't include you in family discussions about the future and she won't invite you places. When referring to your household, she'll only mention her child's name.
Also ,if she stops talking when you come near, is friendly with everyone, but only sort of civil to you, or doesn't tell you any more about her life than she asks about yours, it could be a sign that she doesn't like you. She wants to keep her distance from you.
She's overly critical: Some people really are exceptionally critical. If you notice your mother-in-law regularly criticizes your appearance, your interest, your values, your family, or other things that are important to who you are, it could be a big red flag that she doesn't care for you.
She talks about your partner’s exes: It's uncomfortable to hear over, and over again about how wonderful your partner's ex-partner is and how much the family (including your mother-in-law) loved them. If you notice this happening (and, worry not, chances are they didn't actually love them as much as they're saying), but rather trying to make you uncomfortable and you should absolutely address it with your partner if you get bothered by this.
She doesn’t show concern: Asking questions about life and taking an interest is a relatively simple and painless way to let another person know that you care about them. And if your mother-in-law never makes this effort, it might be a sign that you're not her cup of tea.
She backbites: She tells every member of her family, friends, and neighbors about the things that she hates about you, imaginary or otherwise. She adds in a little more spice to strengthen her claim and make you look like the wife from hell. The bad news is most of the time they believe her.
Well It's normal to feel upset or disappointed when you go through this kind of relationship with your Mother-in-law. You can try to win her over by making more of an effort, taking a more obvious interest in her, trying to find common ground, or going out of your way to include her in your life. But ultimately, no matter how much you try or want to work towards a loving, caring (or at the very least, civil) relationship with your mother in law, she has to be willing to meet you in the middle as well. If not it's possible that a strong mother and daughter-in-law relationship just isn't meant to be, for the two of you.
Understand that it’s not always easy getting along with your MIL. However do the best that you can to fix it for the sake of your partner and your relationship but remember that her issues quite likely isn’t really always with you–she’s just taking it out on you! Don’t be afraid to ask for your man’s help in handling his mother, too! Remember–he’s been dealing with her for years, he should be an old pro by now!
Know that you can only do so much fixing. Sometimes, at the end of the day, you just have to make the best of things, and let it go and move on with your life.