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Better Living

Get Over Yourself - The Only Obstacle In Your Path Is Yourself

14 September 2017 - 19:34

S H A N

In the conquest for knowledge, there are no failures, only the next lesson.

If you're the type of person who constantly finds themselves occupied with great many ideas that could become a reality yet don't simply because they never make it to the action-phase, then you may find yourself a solution here. Creativity comes in surges and people with this particular array of gifts, tend to surpass a lot of obstacles in their way when they are coming up with one great idea after another, yet run into one very uncompromising wall, a.k.a yourself. 

Now don't think of this as yourself, this isn't you. Think of this as an evil you, some may even call it the 'reverse you', brim full of negative things to say about all the limitless potential you've just harnessed from your creative imagination. That one idea that seemed truly impeccable and intellectual now seems like another dead horse that you no longer want to keep prodding. The idea grows smaller and smaller through your eyes as you crumple it into an imaginary paper ball, consequently flinging it towards the bazillions of ideas in a heap, discouraged by that same anti-you. 

This I can say, from experience and from having observed it in a lot of promising people, is an exhausting form of creative lay off that can be effectively overturned. But now you may begin to wonder just how much work is involved in turning it around and I can assure you, this requires a discipline of the mind that takes many a great while to master. Just in case you start feeling like it may be too hard, do not fret, greater men and women than you have found themselves struggling with it, give yourself time, breathe and try again.

I'm going to give you three effective ways to shut down your 'reverse-self' for good. Try them at your own pace.

1. Make a habit of jotting things down. 

You are whiling away the time in class and find yourself happening upon a creative explosion, a song, a poem, whatever it may be. You give yourself some glorious time to wonder upon the possibilities and find yourself increasingly motivated but alas, days have passed and yet the idea has not seen the light of day. Guess who is snickering in the corner of your brain for this victory? That's right, the anti-you. He or she has once again defeated you by showing you your fear of failure, the endless ways your idea could go wrong or placed unwavering doubts in your head that you simply couldn't shake leading you to either forget the intricacies of what you came up with or simply give up on it. 

With the way our mind works, writing down things have a bigger impact on the information retained by the brain and this extends to how you feel about that particular piece of literature too. Ever wonder why your teacher made you take notes in class? Simply because you can refer to them later and remember what was said or done in conjunction with it. When you write down your ideas and revisit them, you are not only revisiting the words, but you are bound to experience the same boundless euphoria and excitement you had when you happened upon it. You tend to see the original potential you had before they dwindled away and you recall small details you'd forgotten about. All of this consequently adds up to minimizing the wastage of your potential and maximizing the action-phase which will bring the most out of you.

2. Surround yourself with a strong support system.

No matter how unwavering your sense of self may be, you will find yourself in the pits of shame and doubt occasionally. These are the days the anti-you has completely overtaken your mind, and you feel a sense of loathing towards you and everything you stand for. Your ability is compromised and you are no longer the dab hand you were at all those things you excelled at. I don't blame you, these kind of days are the worst. But this climb out of hell, that isn't impossible. And the best part is that you don't have to do it alone.

And this is where my next suggestion stems from. Find yourself that strong support system, be that family or close friends or even supportive co-workers. Surround yourself with people who believe in the best of you, who have faith in you so that on the days that your self-belief comes up short, their belief in you makes up for it. Find riches of people who are reliable, trustworthy and supportive of any mission you set for the betterment of yourself. Let them be the pillars that hold that roof up high on the days that the weight seems a little too much for you. It's nothing to be ashamed of, to confide in people and to let them comfort you. This is something your anti-you lacks and is quite allergic to. Allow your support systems to pave your way to success.

3. Try. Fail. Try. Fail. Keep trying. Succeed.

Now this may be the most important thing I may have to share with you. The anti-you gravitates towards your failures and feeds off it. This boosts their power and the sway they have over your limitless capabilities. When you are extremely enamored with something you try and you fail at it, or it doesn't go the way you intend it to, it can be a crushing blow. It can be hard to recover from if you let the fear set in you, but you must allow yourself to fail to begin to succeed. Success isn't something you just break ground in one day, you have to keep grinding, even if it is bit by bit, brick by boring brick, blood, tears and sweat, all of it compile to polish you into the best of yourself. 

Don't hold yourself to ungodly standards right off the bat. Manage your expectations, know that you have as much a chance of failure as you have chance for success. Manifest your ideas despite it, find positive influence in yourself and others to keep going. It's completely okay to have doubts and fears, the mental embodiment of this in this context being the anti-you. You can have them laugh at you, snicker at you, verbally abuse you but never let them assume control of you. Give yourself time, but try a bit of this day by day. Do all those things you always wanted to do, but bit by bit. Ease yourself into it. It won't always go your way but never let that be the excuse for you to stop completely. Failures are the stepping stones to success. Write it down, memorize it, live it.

These three steps will help guide your way when you become your own problem. More often than not, external influences can only break you so much but in reality, what lets them get to you is your anti-you. Find them, chain them, and break free of their sway. Feed no more from their doubts and lies, you are the master of your mind. And you can achieve anything you set your mind to. You can only be the best of yourself, if you let it happen. Break your own walls. 


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