Dear Blood Suckers,
I am writing this letter in hopes that you will realize how big of a nuisance you have been in my life and just leave me be. But then, you are a brainless brat.
I know that you have been around since the Jurassic period and that makes you, like, 210 million years old but that does not give you free right to take up the reins of my life. You do not get to be the one to decide when I sleep and for how long. You definitely do not get to wake me up in the middle of the night. My own mother does not do that. Well, not anymore.
You do not get to be the one who decides when I can go out, or what I get to wear and how much perfume I have to wear since I would have to apply enough to cover up the smell of mosquito repellent, which does not even work half the time. Seriously, what do you eat? Oh right. Innocent blood.
My mother told me that every being is here for a reason. I can see why bees and birds are here, but why you? You don’t serve, you don’t feed anyone, just yourselves because you are selfish and inconsiderate little ninnies, aren’t you? Instead, you spread dangerous diseases like you are doing a public service and for what? You don’t even live long after you’ve feasted on us.
You never ask. You NEVER ask. It is common courtesy to ask permission before you enter or “invade”-in your case- someone’s private space. Even a fool knows how repulsive something becomes when they inflict pain like you do. Sucking our blood like it’s your mama’s breasts. And what’s up with the staying here even when you are unwanted? So pathetic and needy.
Woman to woman, you see, I am a nice person- jeez, fine. I have the potential to be nice or whatever. Therefore, I will warn you every time I spray a room but I will not hesitate to snap you like a twig if you continue these acts of terrorism on my skin like it’s your father’s workshop. I don’t care how pregnant you are.
After a long 20 years of trying to coexist with the many hardships your species brings about, I’m done. I am finally done being the sane one between the two of us. Hereupon, it is either kill or be killed. You can kill me, if not I am going to kill each and every one of you who brings their hideous proboscis into my home.
Clearly, you have overstayed your welcome here, so please just go back to wherever you came from. Or maybe explore the universe. Its vast. Move on.